I AM WORTHY
I am really fortunate…don’t get me wrong, I know it. I live in a, well, sort of free country. I’m healthy. I have a home, food, work I love, a loving supportive husband, etc. You get the idea. However, despite all of these amazing things for which I am grateful, I have been feeling really uninspired. And the part that gets me down is that I tend to make it mean that I am not good enough. That I am unworthy. If I am not creating something, or hard at work with clients or on a project, I’m not worthy.
Addressing, head on, my “not good enough” issues has been an ongoing project for years, but has been more in my face in this last year. It’s all for the good as I am really looking at it directly and learning more about myself, and ultimately all of us.
Last year I discovered that when I am earning less money, I allow it to affect my sense of self worth. What?!?! That is insane! And now, having a few uninspired days, I am feeling unworthy once again. Sheesh.
When I can get over myself for a second, I remember that we are ALL worthy, simply because we are. Because we exist. Because we are all extensions of source energy, which in my paradigm, is pure love and perfection. And by that logic, we are all perfect and our challenge in these bodies is to learn what we need to learn and slowly but surely remember who we really are.
So…if I am indeed worthy despite these feelings, how can I reframe my feelings in order to move through it with more grace and ease?
One thing I know is that I have been pretty tightly wound for my entire life. I have been nervous/sensitive to varying degrees since early childhood, despite my intact household, having friends, food, shelter, good grades, blah blah blah. Over the last year, I have been working on allowing myself to relax, which sometimes equals me watching TV all day and playing on the computer. I will check in with my guides and ask if I should be doing something else, and I usually get a thumbs up to my “lazy” behavior.
The thing is, I am slowly learning that when I allow myself to trust my body, and indulge in behavior that would terrify the go-getters among us, I feel better. Hmmm…imagine that! And when I am given the freedom to do this, I find myself more motivated at other times. The trick at these moments of motivation is to not buy into my old mindset of “now I am worthy…look how much I have accomplished”.
I am worthy because I am. Because I exist. Because I am an extension of Source energy. Period.
Another important thing to remember in order to maintain sanity is to NOT compare ourselves with others. When I do this, it is often a one-way ticket to Shameville, and it is bullshit! I may look at someone who sees more clients than me, writes more articles, makes more and better videos than me and makes a ton of money. But the thing is, I don’t know what her inner life is like. I don’t see her struggles, and we ALL have them! Who knows…she may look at ME and feel less than because I have love in my life and that eludes her. You just never know. And it is absolutely none of my business what anyone else is doing, unless I choose to use what I observe as inspiration for myself, or fuel for compassion and love for them.
I am worthy because I am. Because I exist. Because I am an extension of Source energy.
When this is happening, we can also look at what is triggering us. I have been a broken record lately, telling everyone and their brother that the magic of healing resides in our triggers, if only we will look at them and resolve them. I believe that when we are being triggered, it is something to look at. Something bubbling up from deep inside us, awaiting it’s clearing and healing. Triggers, as uncomfortable as they are, are truly gifts to us.
When I looked at what was triggered in me with this current round of un-inspiration, I found that I had made a “vow” to turn off/stop my “magic” at age 3. I cleared the vow and then found that a piece of my soul fragmented off due to the emotional and psychic trauma of making that promise. I reintegrated that soul fragment that contained protected energy of magic. And that’s all she wrote. (If you are wondering what I am talking about, this is the energetic work that I do),
There are a myriad of ways to clean up your triggers, and this just happens to be the way I do it! And after I clear a trigger, life gets a little (or a lot!) brighter. One less bit of energetic slime to see and experience the world through. Ahhhh.
I am worthy because I am. Because I exist. Because I am an extension of Source energy.
Another way I am able to come to terms with feeling unworthy is through artistic expression, as in writing this article. It helps me to bare my soul, to be vulnerable. I am really learning the value of vulnerability. When I can be vulnerable, and stand bravely in my tender feelings, in front of others, it magically allows for more connection.
I receive channeled messages from my dear guide/helper Lon, and sometimes these messages get downright personal. And when I put these messages out for anyone to see/hear them, I feel quite exposed and shaky. But what I have experienced from allowing myself to be seen, is that so many other people are experiencing the same thing. This allows all of us to have more compassion for each other and ourselves, and feel more connected in our human experience. It’s quite beautiful.
Well, I have to say, I feel better now! And believe it or not, I am grateful for this time of feeling uninspired and therefore unworthy as it has led me to even more healing and expansion of my spirit.
I am worthy because I am. Because I exist. Because I am an extension of Source energy.
And so are we all.
